The Importance of Winning

A mini-series on victory and failure

An Ode to Failure

Have you ever wondered why we place such an emphasis on celebrating our failures? Why has it been deemed a categorically good thing when we fail?

Maybe it's to help little kids feel better about a loss. Maybe a fear of failure is so prevalent in adults, it is inadvertently taught to us as kids. Whatever the case, failure is lauded to a degree that cultivates a culture of being too comfortable with failure.

While growing up, I was a victim to this mindset. Every activity I did, awarded kids with a participation trophy. Maybe it was a hopeless ploy to convince us we were all winners at the end of the soccer match, but I saw through that facade from day one. I saw it in the expressions of my teammates, my parents, the coach, and most clearly, in the mirror. It was clear that I hadn't "won" anything.

Alright, maybe that is the hindsight bias talking and maybe that is a bit dramatic. I wasn't really the prescient 8 year old who saw through the facade of the cheap participation trophies I was handed. Even still, as I look back, I do remember every trophy becoming less special and more apparent that I simply was not good enough (yeah I know, terrible mentality). Everyone kept telling me that I would find that thing I am great at, and everyday I would wish upon a star that tomorrow would be that day.

As I entered high school, the realization only worsened. I joined sports and activities, hoping for excellence... only to come up short every time. My friends, at this point, had all found the niches in which they excelled. It felt like winning was natural to them, which only served to beg the question, why was it not for me?

Decisions

By my early teens, I had grown into this horrible habit of being average. I felt that my best was middling and any additional effort would be wasted. Since I had decided that I was not going to be the best, I had inadvertently decided to fail. It was comfortable. But at some point, we all need to decide to be uncomfortable. My friends excelled because they had all decided to win. Whether it was an internal desire or one forced upon by their parents they had all begun to excel in their selective fields. Once they had tasted success there was no going back.

This is the paradoxical cycle that makes winning so important. In order to understand the importance of winning, you have to win. Every single one of my friends decided that failure was not an option so they put everything they had into optimizing their chance for success. Once I made this realization I put everything I had into achieving my first "real" victory. For me, that was spending everyday to build a robot that won the regional competition.

It wasn't easy, but it also wasn't hard. I want to emphasize this now, as the takeaway should not be that it is an impossible task to achieve victory. What it really took was a shift in mentality, consistency and focusing on an activity that I truly enjoyed doing. The enjoyment of that activity meant not only that I cared winning but also that it did not feel like a chore when I poured all my effort into it. So what did I learn?

The Importance of Winning

It is simple. Winning cultivates a motivation to do it again. And again. And again. The drug that everyone starts to get addicted too. The feeling of invincibility and elation as your hard work has finally paid off. I realized what I had been missing all these years. Before I had been working towards my goals without the requisite effort required to actually win. This was because I was working to the idea of a winning and didn't understand the feeling of victory. After that the snowball effect started, and to this day, I strive to achieve some sort of "victory" in everything I work towards.

Ok, so what does this all mean. Is winning really everything? Do you really need to win at everything? What happens when you really try your best and still fail? When is it necessary to fail? Is failure important as well?

This is just the first part in a mini series about victory and failure. Before I answer the above questions and more, take some time to think about the last time you won. Do you strive for it everyday?

I would love to hear your perspective on winning. Feel free to DM me on Twitter, I always love talking to new people and understanding alternative viewpoints!

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